Things We Want People to Know

Here are some things that we have commonly heard and feel the need to speak about.

  • Just because we are displaying an emotion you don’t usually see, doesn’t mean we’ve switched.  My system is particularly shy about being seen when we come and go.  We can do it very, very quickly but if we think people are watching for it, we clam up and it takes longer.  If you’re close enough to think we’d be willing to tell you, you can quietly ask if you’re speaking with somebody new.  If we feel like someone is watching or listening that we don’t know or trust, or if we’re just embarrassed by the question, we’ll probably lie to you.  We are not going to announce switching or do it in a way that calls attention to it.  Sometimes people do prefer to come, observe quietly for a minute, and then retreat back into the background again.  This is especially true of little people who are interested in what’s going on but don’t have a lot of experience with being in front.  They usually find it too overwhelming to stay.
  • While there are probably several inside people around at any given time, we’re probably not talking or thinking anything about you, unless you’re talking about (or to) us.  My system is extremely friendly toward people they really believe are safe, even if the person doesn’t know we’re multiple.  For those that do know, there’s nothing to worry about as far as the opinions of inside people.  As a general rule no one is hovering in the background thinking or saying anything about you, unless it is something good.  But as a caveat, if you are bad mouthing inside people (please, just don’t ever do this no matter what…) or just don’t have a very accepting or safe way of living or being, regardless of whether you’re aware of our multiplicity, do not expect to achieve a very good reputation with any of us.  We will respect you and honor you as a fellow person, but you won’t have access to any deep places in us.
  • Yes, there are constant conversations going on in our heads.  Yes, they are distracting at times.  No, it doesn’t mean we are flaky or flighty or crazy.  We can come across that way because of the pure volume of things we have to sift through in a normal day.  We not only have the external environment, but we have a lively internal environment that adds to the overstimulation.  Sometimes as a matter of courtesy we have to make decisions based on the needs of somebody else inside that you may not be seeing or talking to.  Patience is appreciated.
  • It is hard for us to make close friends.  This might be surprising (or maybe not), but we have a hard enough time trying to swallow what we’re dealing with, ourselves…nevermind asking someone else to wrap their head around it, accept it, and deal with it in a friend relationship as well.  We are figuring it out as we go along.

 

To be continued, because it’s time to leave work, I have a busy weekend ahead, and Monday is a holiday…  Cheers, J8


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