Dear System Guardians…

You guys, I wrote Dear Little Ones because I really wanted to convey my heart for little ones in a way that could help them understand things that were happening, and hopefully bring some clarity and peace to some of the more wounded and confused insiders in people’s systems.

But little ones aren’t the only ones on my heart.

I know that guardians (or some call them protectors) wouldn’t be caught dead looking at a picture book, but I did want to tell them some things that have been on my mind for awhile now. I think about them all the time, too.

Actually I just think about all of you – collectively – and your systems, all the time. You’re never far from my mind. I want you to know I’m in this thing with you, you’ve got SOMEBODY out there on your team. I don’t know all the answers. I know precious few, actually. But I’m rooting for all of you. You’re the reason I write.  So, I offer this letter to all the system guardians out there who are willing to read.  ****NOTE: There is one paragraph in the letter that talks about G*d.  Most of you know what I believe but that I also don’t feel the need to make an issue of it. This time I left this paragraph in because it’s important. But I noted it beforehand so you know when it’s coming so you can skip it if you want to. Please feel free to do so!


 

Dear System Guardians,

You may not know who I am, but my name is Jade (formally J8). I’m most likely friends with one or some of your people. We met through my blog, which you’re welcome to read anytime you want.

Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about you for awhile now, but unfortunately I’ve also been dealing with some of my own shit earlier this year and haven’t been in a place to pursue it until the last month or so. Things are starting to lighten up for me and become quite a bit better, so I wanted to write to you.

I usually know from the moment anyone mentions you that you are a guardian, based on what people say about you. I know this because I’m a guardian too, so I just understand you. I get you. Guardians are so very needed in our systems. And you’re a very, very good one.

Even without knowing where you are, emotionally speaking, I wanted to say some things to you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you’ve done for your system.  For the ones you know, the ones you don’t know, even for those you don’t particularly like.  You’ve done your job well. And no one quite understands how hard it’s been or how much it took to do your job well, but I do.

Well done.

Thank you.

They couldn’t have survived without you.

I’ve always known, no matter what anyone said, that your heart was to love and protect. I just know. It’s always so apparent to me, no matter what behavior you’re displaying, that you have a huge heart, and you’re brave enough to do what’s necessary no matter what it costs you personally. Behavior is not what matters, the motive is what matters. And I know your motive has been to protect. Oftentimes guardians do not have fair choices, so they have to try to choose the least hurtful thing when there’s nothing better they can do.

I get it. I’ve been there.

The sad part is, so many people look at the behavior or they look at the collateral damage and misunderstand the guardian’s end goal, which is safety and minimizing the consequences to the ones they care about.  Guardians do a very, very difficult and exhausting job and then not only do they NOT get thanked for it, they oftentimes get criminalized for it.

I know that you may be going through some anger right now. Thank you for being angry. Thank you for caring enough to be angry and stand up for those other insiders. They needed someone to come to their defense, and you did it, when no one else could.  Now, what I hope for you, is that in time – only when you’re ready – you might be willing to consider any additional insights about those situations you’re angry about.  You may find at some point that others inside your system, or even people on the outside, might have different perspectives that you might find worthy of consideration.  This is only in your own time. There is no rush on this process.  It is completely yours, and no one else’s timeline matters except yours. Regardless of what anyone else says, it’s 100% okay to be wherever you are. You don’t need to be anything other than yourself, exactly how you are, right now.

I, personally, believe in God, and if you’re interested I want to share a small experience with you in the next paragraph.  Me and mine really value a faith-based approach, but I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re not interested, THAT’S OKAY!  Just skip this next paragraph.  🙂

I remember years ago, when I first started considering that maybe God DIDN’T hate me, and the first time I asked him what he thought about me. He told me he was proud of me. I couldn’t believe it. I said, “But what about those times I hated you and questioned you and raged at you and yelled at you and demanded answers and was furious with you?”  And what he told me was this:  “You have persisted in clinging to me, in pursuing me, in refusing to give up on me. Rather than deciding I’m not worth the time and walking away, instead you used your very hatred to cling to me when that was the only thing you had, and I’m proud of you.”  I could NOT believe it. It seemed too good to be true. But it was. It really, really was. And is.

At any rate, I just want to encourage you, when you’re ready, to see if anyone else might have anything to tell you about any of those situations.  There is no rush. And I want you to know that no matter what anyone else thinks of you, I see you, I believe in you, and I know you are good, no matter what emotional state you’re in and no matter how you’re acting at the moment. I see past that. I see the real you, and I’m super grateful for you. You are one powerful person, and you’ve been invaluable to the survival of your system. I want to honor you for everything you’ve done for them.

I hope you can consider me a friend.

 

Cheers. ~J8


32 thoughts on “Dear System Guardians…”

  • 1
    Faye Russell on July 8, 2015 Reply

    Jade, my Guardians love what you wrote, especially my primary Guardian, who I just recently connected with. I am so glad you are learning at a young age what has taken many years for me to have the opportunity to learn, but God’s grace has always been sufficient. I too have pursued & known Jesus was my only hope even though I argue with Him & get very angry with Him. He has been so loving & lets me know that even if I am not ready to let go of the anger, He is happy to be with me & go through it with me. Praise God that you are getting this kind of healing so young, and have many more years to help others heal.

    Love & blessings,

    Faye

  • 2
    Samira Claire on December 31, 2015 Reply

    Thank you. The paragraph about God got us, and we mean REALLY got us. We have tears, tears of exhaustion and tears of frustration, rolling down our cheeks after reading this. God hasn’t chosen yet to speak to any of us personally, although we have, most of us anyway, spent decades, as long as we can remember actually, asking God why It abandoned us, why It let all these horrible things happen to us. We’ve learned to live with this silence, but it still breaks all our hearts. Thankfully we have angels that have been very receptive to us, but God, nope, not. one. word. And we are angry, and hurt, and terribly sad because of this. We have our own ideas about what God is. We are not affiliated with any organized religion, because that does not work for us, but we do believe. Even in the deafening silence, we still believe. We just don’t understand, not yet anyway. This is a very powerful post and we love it! Thank you for reaching out and touching our heart with your words. Be well. <3

    • 3
      Jade on January 1, 2016 Reply

      Thank you Samira. I am wondering if there is a reason, or a part, that keeps you from hearing God because they might be afraid of what It will say. Or even just so angry at It that they do not want to hear. That would be totally normal and understandable. If there were a way that they could either tell It all of their frustrations and questions and ONLY hear good things, would they want that? Or, if they are afraid of what It would say to them, what if It would only say good things – would it be ok to hear in that case? If you have the awareness maybe you can ask some of those questions to your insiders. I admire you so much for continuing to persevere despite lack of reward. Survivors have so much against them, I’m speechless at the faith they demonstrate to just hang on, even with no solid proof. Love to you. I’m here for you. <3

      • 4
        Samira Claire on January 1, 2016 Reply

        Hi Jade, Most likely all of the above? Idk, tbh. I’ve never thought about it in those terms. I think hearing only good things would be alright but I (me personally) don’t mind hearing bad things too, if we would just hear something, some kind of response at all, it would help. I (me) feel like the response we get from the angels must be God’s response, like maybe God can’t connect with me for some reason directly, so It sent them? Idk though, it’s all so confusing to me, and I really have no idea what other parts feel about what they want to hear or not. I’ll be honest with you though, the only reason I have so much perseverance despite lack of reward, is due to a NDE when I was four. I actually was with God then, for a very brief wonderful moment, I felt It all around and inside of me. It was pure peace, love and amazingly light. It was made of the brightest light I’ve ever seen/felt that did not hurt to look at. I don’t know how else to describe It. Then I had to come back and deal with the hell here, and maybe I’m still angry (some part of me) because I got sent back? That seems most likely to me. I’ve been trying to get back to that moment (the NDE feeling) it seems for the entirety of the rest of my life, in some way or another, without actually killing myself, because that doesn’t ever seem to work out very well. I’m not sure who all Claire was referring to in her comment above though as far as “we” and “us”? If she meant everyone or just some of us? I obviously do not share the same amount of awareness of them as she does, unfortunately. I mean I agree with all that she’s said, so it’s true of me as well, but I did not know they also all felt this way. Thank you for your very kind response to her comment though. I hope she speaks to you more in the future. I like your writing a lot and if you ever want to talk, don’t hesitate to contact me or her (email or pm on fb either one is fine, although I prefer email since I have that on my phone). Love back to you. <3 -Amy

  • 5
    Anonymous on January 1, 2016 Reply

    Amy, your comment really touched my heart. I, function, have done everything I could not to let my guardians show me their feelings about God. My primary Guardian is so angry, she wants me to say pissed at God. I don’t normally say those words because I, function am very careful to try to obey God because of the legalism I was taught. Now that I am accepting thier anger & realizing they have very good reason to be “pissed” at God I am accepting myself in ways I never did before. What I want to say is how much I admire your pure & honest heart.

    The only thing I am hearing from God at this stage in my recovery is He wants me to accept & love all parts of my heart that are angry at Him so they aren’t alone anymore. I love the way you honor your parts.

  • 6
    Anonymous on January 1, 2016 Reply

    Amy, I forgot to sign my name. It is Faye Russell.

    • 7
      Samira Claire on January 2, 2016 Reply

      Thank you Faye. 🙂 -Amy

  • 8
    talktoj8 on January 3, 2016 Reply

    Amy & Samira (sorry, I’m not sure if I’m understanding who is commenting) 🙂 – I think I understand a little more now. I was just shooting in the dark with my suggested questions or posed scenarios on hearing from God. Lots of people “think” they want to hear from It but then find out later that they have parts that are actually terrified that It will be angry at them or hate them or say horrible mean things to them or respond to them like one of their parents if their parents were unsafe. OR sometimes people will think they want to hear from It but they or other parts are actually so angry at It that they actually don’t want to. But I was just going off of generic stuff I have known to be true for some people. Just trying to get you thinking outside the box. 😉 Perhaps if hearing from God could be like your NDE, maybe would you and your parts want to hear from It in that case? Is there anyone with any reservations? Anyone who is angry that It did not let you stay? Just good questions to think on. <3

    • 9
      Samira Claire on January 4, 2016 Reply

      Well first it was Claire that commented and then it was Amy (me). Sorry for the confusion. It’s really difficult to get everyone to remember to sign their names after they comment. So we go by many names when they do remember to sign comments (no one gets offended if anyone on the outside gets them mixed up with anyone else), and Samira Claire is actually the name everyone picked as a suitable avatar for the Internet. It might be less confusing if I didn’t sign my name, but I don’t want to sound contradictory to something another part has said without explanation that I am not them, and thus may think differently. I hope that makes sense? Also if we waited for Claire to come back to respond It might be awhile. I’m actually surprised she commented at all tbh. So I guess I took it upon myself to respond. 🙂

      I’m pretty sure there is a lot of anger we, most of us, have with God for not letting us stay or even go back later when we have tried to (that might explain a lot about our inability to give a damn about caring for ourselves sometimes too). I don’t understand why that would stop God from speaking with us though, it’s not like any of us believe that God is bothered in the slightest by any of us being mad at It. There is no fear that I can determine going on with anyone either. We have already met It and know that God loves unconditionally, everyone, no matter what. So that isn’t the issue as far as I can tell. Tbh, we were sent back completely against our will during that NDE, told we had to do something here and could not stay there, we can’t remember what we were supposed to do, but we have the feeling it’s not done yet since we are still here. I don’t even know if we will know when we have done whatever this thing is. I’d like to think, a lot of us would like to think, that we will be able to go back Home to God as soon as it’s done though. Anyway, we would all love to hear, or rather experience, God again like in our NDE, but other than dying we don’t know how to connect with It. Unless we are not catching the signs/messages that God is giving us? This could be the case too? Did you hear God internally? How did you know it was really God? How did you experience It? If you are willing to share this with us (we mean)? <3

      –Claire/Maggie/Stacia wrote this second paragraph co-consciously^^

      • 10
        Jade on January 6, 2016 Reply

        Hi everyone, I’m so sorry but sometimes I get very disorganized and forget to come back and check for comments. :-/ I hear God in different ways sometimes. It can be internal. I don’t think it’s usually in an external way but it can be different for different people. Sometimes it’s more of a sensing that He is near (we call him “he” but are fine with what you prefer too). I tend to rely on internal spiritual vision a lot, because I’m more visual. The main way I know that what I see/hear is God is that it brings life and peace; he never hurts me or harms me or does anything that scares or shames me. I’m not sure the reason you cannot connect with It but there probably is a reason and I’m sure it’s a valid one.

        • 11
          Samira Claire on January 7, 2016

          Hey, no worries at all. I sometimes have to wait awhile before I get to do what I want so I understand. It’s the nature of the DID for me. 🙂

          I appreciate you telling me your experiences with this. Thank you. I’ve been thinking about it a lot more lately and I’m wondering if I am actually just not interpreting the messages I get from God as coming from It perhaps. I’m not really visual per say but more visceral or kinetic. So I wonder if we all are just missing the signs that God may be trying to use to communicate with us? I’m/hopefully we, as in the majority of us, will be paying more attention now to all the little things to see if there is in fact communication going on and we just aren’t catching it. I hope this is the case. Maggie tends to do better with these sort of God related type issues than I do, so she’s agreed to assist me with this project. We will let you know how it goes if you’re at all interested in hearing it? If not, that’s alright also. I’m sure you’re most likely pretty busy and I understand that. Thanks again!

          <3 Claire

        • 12
          Jade on January 8, 2016

          Yes, please let me know how it goes!

  • 13
    Anonymous on January 5, 2016 Reply

    I hope it is ok for me to respond. I feel like Moses. I am not nearly as eloquent in speech as Jade. I hope nothing I say offends any part of your system. If it does please ignore it & know I love all your parts just st as I do mine. In the past I have been angry, frustrated & very hurt when I wanted to hear from God so desperately but didn’t. I have learned for the past 17 years that my parts are either too angry or afraid to hear from him & won’t allow him to speak to them. He respects their right to choose. In the past year I have learned from an inner healing prayer ministry how to help my Guardians & little ones with that. They were never given the freedom to choose with the evil people.

    I don’t want to share how I am helping all my parts with these issues until I have your permission. Then I will share. Would it be better if I called him God or it. I don’t want to offend anyone.

    Is it ok for you to tell me what NDE means?

    Faye

    • 14
      Samira Claire on January 7, 2016 Reply

      Hi Faye,

      Sorry it took me awhile to get back here and respond to you. I’m assuming you know how it is when you’re not the only one who gets to choose the activities you do every day and you have to wait your turn for it? 🙂

      NDE is short for near death experience, basically I died for a short time and was then revived, or my soul was put back into my body, whichever way you want to look at it. I have no idea, since I was so young, how long I was dead. I imagine it couldn’t have been a terribly long time.

      I would be very willing to hear your story if you would like to tell me and it doesn’t matter to me how you identify God, use what you are most comfortable with. Thank you for telling me about it.

      Claire 🙂

  • 15
    Anonymous on January 8, 2016 Reply

    Amy, I also had something similar, but don’t know if I actually died, but the evil people thought I had & used it to gain more control over me. I would love to share more with you today, but I don’t have the time today to get my thoughts organized, but as soon as I can I will. Thank you for allowing me to do that.

    Blessings, Faye

    • 16
      Samira Claire on January 17, 2016 Reply

      Hi Faye.

      Sorry it took so long to get back here. Our cat has been very sick. So the entire system is stressed. We basically can’t do anything more right now for our cat but lie here with her and comfort her while she heals. :/ We wanted to ask you about your reference to Moses? We do know the story of Moses, but apparently not well enough to grasp what you meant by that comment and we were curious about it. Thanks for letting us know what you meant.

      –Claire/Maggie (Don’t worry about getting our individual names correct, we aren’t terribly picky about that. There are too many of us for all of us to even keep it all straight, little lone expect anyone else to. So you can just call us Claire if it’s easier.) 😀

  • 17
    Anonymous on January 8, 2016 Reply

    I’m sorry, that was Claire, hi Claire

    Faye

  • 18
    Anonymous on January 8, 2016 Reply

    Hi Claire & anyone else reading this,

    I did want to share how I know I am hearing from God. He speaks to me through my thoughts & sometimes visual pictures. His thoughts are always thoughts of love, grace & kindness. Never judgmental, condemning, angry, never disappointed in me. I know it is Him if it lines up with his character & his word. The enemy can use God’s word in a twisted way, so it also has to line up with who God really is, His character. That is a journey I am still on to learn who He is rather than the distorted view I got from so many abusers & even in the church. I don’t know if that helps. I will get back when I can.

    Faye

    • 19
      Samira Claire on January 17, 2016 Reply

      Jade,

      We had a question, how do you know when you hear from God that it is not just from another person in your system that you don’t know yet, or even more so, something like your higher self (have you heard of this before? This is a singleton thing…I think it’s like the version of one’s whole self, part of one’s soul(?), that is not completely in one’s consciousness or one’s human body necessarily even, but is connected to one at the same time that it’s also connected to everything that is or the Universe, I think?) talking to you or showing you something? How are you sure that it is God? We are not trying to question what you’ve told us or what you believe at all, just trying to understand better. This question always comes up for us….how will we know it’s actually God that is communicating with us when it happens? We all hear each other so it’s rather confusing sorting all of that out, everyone has a bad habit of speaking at the same time, so it can get difficult sometimes. But even if we very clearly heard God speak to us, how would we know it’s not someone in our system we aren’t aware of yet or our higher self, if that actually exists?

      –Claire/Maggie (guardians, among other duties)

      • 20
        Samira Claire on January 19, 2016 Reply

        Jade,

        Hi. Never mind this prior question. I’m sorry you are having a rough time due to the burglary that occurred. I had forgotten about that when I left the question. Sorry, that was rude of me. Take care of you. <3

        Claire

        • 21
          Jade on January 19, 2016

          Hey Claire, you can always ask questions. I don’t think it’s rude. But I’m a little lost now, as to what it is/was. LOL. 🙂

        • 22
          Samira Claire on January 22, 2016

          Hi Jade,

          Well, I just felt that asking a question as in depth as this one at a time when you are dealing with crisis in your life is not very thoughtful of me. My memory is not that great all the time though so until you wrote about it again, I had forgotten you had that burglary. Anyway, I will post the question here again but please only bother to answer it if you feel like it and it’s not just one more thing to deal with. I will not be offended if you don’t have time/ability to answer it right now. I am only asking the question again because you said to and because I really am trying to understand how I will know when it is actually God talking to me and not just my higher self or another alter I don’t recognize. So here is a copy and paste of the question:

          Jade,

          We had a question, how do you know when you hear from God that it is not just from another person in your system that you don’t know yet, or even more so, something like your higher self (have you heard of this before? This is a singleton thing…I think it’s like the version of one’s whole self, part of one’s soul(?), that is not completely in one’s consciousness or one’s human body necessarily even, but is connected to one at the same time that it’s also connected to everything that is or the Universe, I think?) talking to you or showing you something? How are you sure that it is God? We are not trying to question what you’ve told us or what you believe at all, just trying to understand better. This question always comes up for us….how will we know it’s actually God that is communicating with us when it happens? We all hear each other so it’s rather confusing sorting all of that out, everyone has a bad habit of speaking at the same time, so it can get difficult sometimes. But even if we very clearly heard God speak to us, how would we know it’s not someone in our system we aren’t aware of yet or our higher self, if that actually exists?

          –Claire/Maggie (guardians, among other duties)

          ***I’m gonna add to that question also, how do I know when God does finally speak to me that I’m not delusional? I still don’t know how I feel about this whole delusional idea. People can judge a person to be out of touch with reality but unless they can absolutely prove what you believe is false, which in all truthfulness they really can’t if you believe God is talking to you, then how do they know their reality is the correct one?

          Maggie 🙂

        • 23
          Jade on January 24, 2016

          Hi Claire, Maggie, & all –

          Thank you for trying to be sensitive to me during rough times. I appreciate that, and I’m okay. I mean, I’m dealing. If I need to take a break from blog comments, I will. Usually I just forget to check the blog comments because I’m forgetful too! Ha!

          Well, as to your questions, they are good ones and I have wondered the same thing a lot. I think for me, it just takes practice and it’s really not an exact science. Sometimes when I’m praying with my prayer facilitator and I’m having doubts as to whether I’m hearing God or Jesus, or whether something I heard WAS either one of those, she will say “Lord, is there some way you can help Jade know that it’s really you?” And sometimes he will say or do something (when I can see him in my mind) that may, for example, be like some kind of inside thing that only I will recognize. Like – as example – if I had just been talking about how much I love trees he might change the landscape and create a tree for us to talk under. That’s just an example I pulled out of nowhere but I’m trying to give you something more concrete to grasp than just theories. He’s infinitely creative. He can speak to you in your “language” – whatever that may be and whatever that may look like. For years and years, I only had questions for God. I didn’t really even want any answers. I wasn’t ready. So a lot of times, he’d speak back – but in questions. NOT in a snotty way. Just asking me questions back, along the same lines of the kind I was asking him, to show me he was on the same wavelength with me. He got it. He understood where I was at. I don’t know if that makes sense but it’s been so long ago now that I can’t remember any examples now.

          I’m not sure if it matters whether you can definitively know or prove that it’s God and not your higher self that you’re hearing, other than to listen and see what it’s saying. God will always lead you to greater peace, healing, and wholeness, without hurting anyone else to get to it. If you’re hearing things that aren’t doing that, or are trying to do that but at someone else’s harm, it’s probably not God. Like all other things, learning to hear is trial and error. And even those who are good at it still miss it sometimes. 🙂 I hope this helps a little bit? ~Jade

        • 24
          Samira Claire on January 27, 2016

          Thanks for responding Jade. I really appreciate it, as does Maggie. 🙂 I understand what you said, I think it’s most likely the best answer a person could probably give to our questions (although, Maggie really wants your opinion on the “how do you know you’re not delusional when you hear God?” question she asked if you have one and time/the energy to answer – thanks). I guess it’s difficult for us to translate your answer into an idea for us to be able to get proof it is God if it chooses to speak to us, since we really aren’t very visual at all. However, we will think on it more and perhaps in doing so we can come up with an idea for how to approach that.

          Can we ask you another question please? What is a prayer facilitator and why do you need one? What do they do? How do they assist you? This is a totally new concept to us as we have never heard of it before so that is why we are asking.

          Thanks for being rad and helping us think this all out. We sure appreciate that you have taken the time to answer our questions, especially with all you are going through right now. We also like the fact that we can trust you to state your boundaries and that you are able to care for yourself first and only attend to what you can handle and are honest about it with people. We have been burned by people in the past who did not set clear boundaries or take care of their needs first or communicate that they weren’t in a place to be able to answer our questions or be our friend or whatever, you may have had this experience and understand what I mean? What I’m trying to explain here. These people would then just drop out of our life, ghost us or the worst, not take care of themselves and then blame it on us when they responded to our needs instead of communicating their own feelings/needs/boundaries and giving us a chance to be respectful of that, which we would have. We have lost many people this way. Although in the end, they weren’t people we really need that kind of in our life anyway, it still stung to be treated that way by them. Sorry to go off on a tangent there, just wanted you to know that we think you are more trustworthy because of this ability and your insight into yourself/s.

          Anyway, we need to figure out what the most likely way is that God would be able to communicate with us now. Since we aren’t very visual and are actually more conceptual in our thinking we are going to have to brainstorm with this idea for awhile.

          Take care. <3 Claire

        • 25
          talktoj8 on February 12, 2016

          Maggie, Claire, and everyone –

          I’ve been doing MUCH better and wanted to come back to your questions. I hope WP nests the comments correctly. Maggie’s question “How do you know you’re not delusional when you hear God” is good, and honestly…you don’t. Ha. Many atheists think we Christians are delusional. There’s some quote somewhere that says “Why is it that what the multitude sees is considered reality but what only one man sees is considered a dream?” And it’s a good point. I guess that’s where faith comes in. I don’t want to say anything triggering to you – if Christian-y things are…though I’m guessing we wouldn’t be talking about it if it were that bad – but there’s a place in the Bible that basically says the how-to of approaching God is to believe he exists and to believe he is good. 🙂 (Me paraphrasing.) I think he is super pleased when we just try. Whether we get it “right” or not – I think WE are the ones who think there’s a “right” and “wrong.” I think we made that up. I think he’s happy when we just try. Have you ever listened to Graham Cooke? He’s a great speaker from the UK and a lot of his messages have radically helped me. He talks about how when a baby is learning to walk, does the parent get mad at it for stumbling and falling down? Nope! Good parents get really really excited when the baby just tries. When they fall, the parent grabs them up, dances them around, and makes a big deal that they just TRIED. I think that’s how God is with us. 🙂

          As far as a prayer facilitator…I might write a blog post on that, just bc it might be easier to post about it so I can cover more bases than trying to condense it down into a comment. I don’t want to shortchange you by trying to be brief. Let me work on that. 🙂 If you want to look for a post later today or tomorrow, I’ll see if I can get something put together. <3 ~Jade

  • 26
    Anonymous on January 9, 2016 Reply

    Hi Claire,

    I don’t know how long you have been aware of your little ones. I am 69 years old. I didn’t start remembering the SRA abuse until 17 years ago & first time I knew i had DID parts. I started remembering being abused by my Mother at home when I was 29 years old. She was mentally ill & very influenced by the enemy. I started traditional therapy & continued counseling for 15 years. Very grueling, but helped me function so I could for the most part do life. In 1999 I found out about Theophostic inner healing prayer & did that until a year ago & started training in Heartsync. I am receiving ministry in Heartsync now. It is helping me connect with my Guardians & little ones in an amazing way. Before Heartsync I felt a lot of irritation when they didn’t want to hear from God & I now realize I had a lot of self hatred, & understand they have very good reason for not wanting to hear from God or Jesus.

    The part of Heartsync that is helping me the most is learning how to love & connect with all parts of my heart. I am thankful they did such an amazing job through the years doing their jobs so I could function in the world. I spend time with them almost everyday letting them know I am never going to leave or be separated from them anymore. Another aspect of Heartsync is letting them know they had good reasons to protect me the way they do & they have a choice with me & Holy Spirit( they prefer HS because he doesn’t have a body) when they are offered a choice. They like that, because the only choice they could make with Masons was forced on them. I have to spend time with them helping them with any resistance they have, so they feel the freedom to make a choice that will bring them freedom, joy & peace.

    The ones I am trying to rescue now don’t want to hear from God or see Him. So they are willing to let God speak to me & I relay message to them. Last week God spoke to me about asking the Guardians if they would like a new job helping me rescue the little ones out of the emotional pain & trauma instead if protecting me from them & the pain. Because the Masons & my family aren’t abusing me anymore. I let them know I really appreciate the job have have done for me or I wouldn’t have survived. But I would appreciate them helping me rescue the little ones since they don’t have to do the job of protecting from them anymore. I don’t know if all my guardians are on board with that,but many are & I seem to be moving forward where as I was really stuck a week ago. It takes a couple of weeks for me to know how much freedom everyone is getting, so I will let you know how everyone is doing when I know.

    My freedom in this is that I am learning how to love myself so I can love God & others the way He originally designed me to do before I was traumatized, which would be before conception.

    I hope this wasn’t too much for you. I tried to be brief.

    Love & blessings to you & all your Guardians & little ones,

    Faye

    • 27
      Samira Claire on January 17, 2016 Reply

      Faye,

      That is a very interesting story. Thank you for sharing it with us. You did not overwhelm us.

      Some of us are confused because we were raised Catholic on mom’s side (and also with SRA which we believe was also tied into the Mason’s on dad’s side) and although exposed to some other churches, we don’t really understand the very small amount of stuff we looked up and read on theophostic prayer and did not have any time yet to even start to read about Heartsync. Is there any way you can simplify this for us if its not too difficult or involved, to be able to explain to us how it works?

      We’ve been doing traditional type therapies, which have been somewhat successful for the most part (we are co-conscious now and still alive) but are also lacking in a lot of ways.

      Also, the idea of your guardians not having to protect you or your littles anymore is compelling to us. Why do you feel that way? What has made you feel safe from the bad people finding/bothering you again? How do you feel safe enough to function in this mad world without using guardians as buffers? We have not gotten to that point yet. Every day feels like a new assault on us in some way, always a stressor of some kind to deal with, like our cat getting sick or the health insurance company changing our medicines, or you name it – heck, David Bowie dying even – not to mention the daily sludge of news and social interactions with other human beings, and that constant underlying fear they will find us again or bother us, perhaps we should say, as they most likely know exactly where we are (the bad people). So while it sounds like an excellent plan we are amazed also that it works for you. That’s fantastic!

      Also, if you have time to read the question we posed to Jade above about how one knows it is God that is communicating with them and not another person in one’s system or one’s higher self, if you had time and wanted to tell us about your thoughts on that we would like to hear them. Thanks.

      –Claire/Maggie

      • 28
        Samira Claire on January 17, 2016 Reply

        Also, love and blessings to you and all of everyone else within you. 🙂

  • 29
    starkinsanity on January 17, 2016 Reply

    Thank you for writing this. 25 and I really appreciated it. We guard our system of four, and it’s me, 19, who does a lot of it. I protect them cause 14 is too young, 15 is too scared and 25 can forgive a little too easily. I want to make sure they stay safe. At least someone understands why I can get angry and bitter. x

    • 30
      Jade on January 17, 2016 Reply

      I do understand, for sure. Thanks for reading.

      • 31
        starkinsanity on February 24, 2016 Reply

        You’re welcome, of course. I’ve just found this comment and forgot that nineteen had written it. She’s doing better with her anger since she’s been talking more in therapy. x

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