Currently Reading

Currently Reading

**TW** for some talk about G*d (nothing extensive)


Hey everybody,

This is the time of year that’s usually VERY VERY HARD for SRA/RA survivors.  Despite that, because of some amazing recent breakthroughs and etc, I’m doing WELL!  Like really well!

Nevertheless, it’s also the busy season at my day job, and I just haven’t had a lot of time to write. I’m always working, whether it’s working at work, or doing side projects at home, or projects related to writing or the blog or advocacy or survivor stuff. It just doesn’t always appear to the public that I’m doing anything because most stuff takes a lot of grunt work before there’s any results.

ANYWAY, since I don’t have a ton of time to post something, I wanted to share some stuff I’ve been reading lately, which you may or may not have seen floating around on social media already.

This.  Just so much this.

Everything Doesn’t Happen for a Reason

About this (link above):

I don’t intentionally go around busting people’s bubbles, but I have started to hate the cutesy little memes floating around that say “The creative adult is the child who survived” and other shit like that that implies that our struggles made the current version of us somehow superior to our original version.

Maybe I’m just getting cranky in my old age. But I believe THERE WAS NOTHING INFERIOR IN OUR ORIGINAL DESIGN. NOTHING. We didn’t “need” to go through hell, and hell didn’t make us better people. That’s horribly insulting if you trace it back to what it really implies, which is that we sucked so badly that only hell could improve us. Um, no. We were perfect, God was (and still is) pleased with us, and then life happened to us and it broke God’s heart along with ours.

God can absolutely repair, transform, redeem. But grief, for how brightly I could have shone **without** having gone thru hell, is entirely appropriate.

And yes, I understand people need to try to make sense of their pain at some point. But people jumping to logic and skipping over the grief (and spreading crap with these loaded messages) might make their brain feel more at ease but it also puts a lot of hearts in the gutter…including their own. And then we wonder why we’re full of head knowledge with hearts that feel lost.

I’ve also been reading this, because I can relate to it.

She Still Has An Eating Disorder

And this, when I need a laugh, because I’m from America and I admittedly don’t “get” the Australian lingo. I hope one day I’ll be able to go visit some of my friends over there and then maybe I’ll have time to learn how to be as cool as they are (although I predict on the front end that that is a hopeless goal). 😉

19 Times Australians Confused the Hell Out of Everyone On Tumblr

And this discussion of church and mental health issues (and I pretty much love and cry to everything Glennon writes). **TW: Discussion of God and church stuff.

If You Wouldn’t Go to Your Minister for a Mammogram, Don’t Go for Depression

I’ve also got several books under way, including Mothers Who Can’t Love, a book about recovering from cult involvement, and still haven’t completely finished Healing from Developmental Trauma.  Like I said…I keep busy.

Thinking about all of you during this season (and always).  Will write a real post soon. Cheers. ~J8


5 thoughts on “Currently Reading”

  • 1
    Jo on October 28, 2015 Reply

    Great to hear you’re doing well given the season. This season is the hardest time 4 me. I hate it. I hate everything it reminds me of and stands for. You are totally right we didn’t need to go through hell. .. it didn’t make me stronger it broke me, so I had no choice but to find some elements of strength.

    • 2
      Jade on October 28, 2015 Reply

      Thanks Jo. Until this year I was tormented during this season. My hope is that if even I can find peace, hopefully others can too. My thoughts are with you. <3

  • 3
    Faye Russell on October 31, 2015 Reply

    I am thankful God gave us the creativity & intelligence to create all the ways we used to survive, but that is also a part of our original design. I love your thoughts & gift of communication. God is using you in such wonderful ways to minister to all of us who have been so traumatized by evil.


  • 4
    Faye Russell on October 31, 2015 Reply

    Another thing that has concerned me, is being told that people who have been abused in SRA are extremely intelligent to be able to create or little ones to survive. That doesn’t apply to me. My iq is very average & I have some learning challenges that may be a result of things done to me. What is your take on that?


    • 5
      talktoj8 on November 3, 2015 Reply

      My take is that every person has the ability to dissociate, and the idea that only the really creative or intelligent people can do it is probably false information and a myth that needs to die. It does seem true that some people can dissociate more deeply than others, hence the reason why some people push trauma outside their conscious awareness and develop DID, and some people remember it all very clearly and develop PTSD. That to me seems more related to a person’s pain capacity than their intelligence, but what do I know.

      I also know that we all tend to underestimate ourselves because we’ve usually not grown up hearing the right things about us, only the wrong things. I consider my own self to be of “average” intelligence, no matter what anyone else says, and I don’t believe IQ tests that aren’t administered formally (I got 119 once, and I flat out refuse to believe it was accurate). Am I really average? Am I actually objective about myself? Maybe, but maybe not. I also have some issues that could be considered learning challenges, along with some sensory processing issues that might even put me on somewhere on the Asperger spectrum. I don’t know if any of this helps or is what you were asking, but it’s what I can think of at the moment.

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