Black and White and Shades of Gray

Black and White and Shades of Gray
I’m in a really, really good space right now. Last year, and even portions of earlier this year, was just such a doozie for me. I honestly wasn’t sure how, or if, I would recover. But sometimes those are the exact circumstances wherein you find out what you’re made of. I felt broken for much ...

DID and Disordered Eating

DID and Disordered Eating
Many people with DID or some sort of dissociative disorder also have other concurrent struggles. Disordered eating is a common one. I say ‘disordered eating’ rather than ‘eating disorders’ because the behavior – like dissociative issues – may not be full-blown enough to qualify for a diagnosis…but it may be incredibly harmful and/or distressing nonetheless. ...

Why Other People Can’t Fix Attachment Wounds

Why Other People Can’t Fix Attachment Wounds
Top of the morning to you. (Afternoon, evening…whatever it is…wherever you are.) I’ve been thinking a lot about the issue of why others can’t fix those of us who have deep unmet attachment needs left over from childhood. Honestly, for a blog about dissociation, I get asked about attachment stuff way more often (which is ...

Pregnancy and Loss in RA

Pregnancy and Loss in RA
CONTENT WARNING:  ****This post is heavier than most writings I do. Please read with care, or come back to it another time, or never (if it’s not something you wish to know or think about).  Mentions: RA, pregnancy, infant loss, r*pe (indirectly), ab*rtion, ETC – may be other topics mentioned as well****       ...

The Damage Done by Media Portrayals of Trauma

The Damage Done by Media Portrayals of Trauma
Everyone knows the media has a HUGE influence on cultural beliefs, attitudes, and mindsets. I’m honestly not sure how it is in other countries, but here in America, whoever controls the media pretty much controls the minds of most Americans. One thing I noticed even as a kid, when watching shows like Full House, was the ...

Manifesto

Manifesto
Sometimes writers need to write just for the hell of it. Because it’s what we do. It’s what we love. In effort to keep getting better at my craft, I joined the 7-Day Blog Like a Pro Challenge. And was inspired to get back to the basics, at least for today. So here’s what I’m ...

What is a Prayer Facilitator?

What is a Prayer Facilitator?
**TW**  Please be advised that this is an entirely Chr*stian post.                               If you’re pseudo-familiar with my healing journey, you know I don’t work primarily with a DID therapist. I work with people whose formal title would (I guess) be “prayer ...

You Are Not One of Them

You Are Not One of Them
  ***TW**** briefly mentions s*icide, ab*se   I wanted to write something helpful this week, but I’m actually the one who needs help, and I didn’t see it coming. And isn’t that always the damn truth.  Just when things seem like they’re really getting better, the other shoe drops. And somewhere on the inside, someone ...

Currently Reading

Currently Reading
**TW** for some talk about G*d (nothing extensive)   Hey everybody, This is the time of year that’s usually VERY VERY HARD for SRA/RA survivors.  Despite that, because of some amazing recent breakthroughs and etc, I’m doing WELL!  Like really well! Nevertheless, it’s also the busy season at my day job, and I just haven’t ...

Separating Lies from Truth – Negative Beliefs that Keep Us Trapped

Separating Lies from Truth – Negative Beliefs that Keep Us Trapped
I’ve been trying to find time to put this in words for awhile, and time just keeps escaping me. Busy season is coming up for me at work, so hopefully I can get this put out there before everything crashes in on me. Okay, so one thing that a lot of people may not understand ...

“The Shining Man” Review, Part 2

I’m going to try to make this more brief than the previous one. I just want to reiterate what I said yesterday:  Jesus does not force people to do anything they don’t want to do. He doesn’t send his angels to force anyone, either. He doesn’t take alters’ clothes away, or lock them up on ...

Family Loyalty – Or, Why Some People Never Tell

Due to some recent events, I’ve been thinking a lot about family dynamics lately.  There’s no way I could cover every possible aspect of an unhealthy family, but these are a couple specific issues I’ve been thinking about recently from my own experiences.  One of the hardest questions I’ve struggled with when it comes to family ...

The Science of Attachment

I’m starting to put together some useful information.  The other day I happened upon this article on the effects of attachment on right brain development. I have to say, I’m only about 1/3 of the way through it, but my mind kicked into over drive by about the tenth page.  I mean, after I deciphered the ...

Baby Alters

I’ve been thinking about baby alters lately, and very young child parts, of which I have not just a few. They get neglected a lot. Partially because unless they’re doing/feeling/radiating something painful that I inadvertently tap into, I just don’t always notice them. So when I remember that they’re there, I’m at a loss as to ...

Recovering

It’s been a distressing few weeks, but I’m holding on.  It seems like every upward shift comes with its own opposition. And oftentimes, though there are real external circumstances going haywire, nevertheless the biggest turmoil is internal. Some days, I don’t know how to honorably stand up under it. I think what I’m realizing more and ...

Excerpts from Trapped in the Mirror

I’m hoping to have some time to work on another post about the narcissistic parenting style tonight. In the meantime, Trapped in the Mirror, by Elan Golomb, was something I read years ago. I don’t remember too many specifics, but it cast a very revealing light on a lot of my struggles. I have combined some ...

The Weight of Grief

I’ve been MIA for 2+weeks, and I’m sorry about that.  This post may be all over the map, and mostly I’m just going to tell you what’s up. It won’t be informational. It won’t be helpful. I can’t guarantee it will even be coherent, I’m just checking in so you know what happened to me. ...