Late Night Thoughts – Therapy

Therapy, or “healing,” as we cryptically call it, is a strange thing. You mutually agree, at least for awhile, to have another person be your projection screen, your scratch pad, your mirror, your sounding board, your safe place, your containment, your own personal headspace specialist, your unbiased/ unfiltered (or at least differently filtered) perspective, your ...

Book Review in progress: Healing Developmental Trauma

Hey everybody. This is a pretty cerebral post (which ironically is a confirmation of my survival style, if you keep reading…haha), so I think we’re safe as far as TW’s go… So I started reading a new book last week called Healing Developmental Trauma, by Laurence Heller.  I’m only about halfway through it (or less), ...

My Current Attachment Mess

This post is probably going to be a mess because basically I’m trying to work some things out mentally, and if you haven’t noticed by now, I process by writing. Stay or go, whichever.  I’ve worked to make this post more generic, because although I don’t know most of my readers personally, I do have ...

On holidays and chaotic working models

Since the holidays are here, I’ve had a couple good conversations with people about what they do – or don’t – like about them.  Interestingly and unsurprisingly, their current feelings have everything to do with how things were during the holidays in their childhood.  If they had happy experiences back then, with traditions they enjoyed, ...

Things I Don’t Say

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time.  I’m in the peak of the busy season at my job, and that – plus my own personal cyclical chaos – has made it impossible to find the time or the wherewithal.  Now that my own seasonal issues are receding a bit, I have ...

in the dark

I really wanted to write something useful today, but I can’t.  It’s just at a point where I’m simply trying to stay out of the hospital.  The season hit me fast and hard and early and unexpectedly this year, and I can’t fully say why, and I can’t really explain anything because I don’t understand ...

Internal Landscapes

Recently the subject of internal landscapes came up, so I thought I would write a little about it for the benefit of those who do not have D.I.D…or even those who do, if they want to join the discussion.  😉 So, what a lot of people who do not have D.I.D. don’t always understand is ...

Album Review – The Undoing (Steffany Gretzinger)

I don’t usually review albums on this blog, and I probably never will again. I’m making an exception, because this album is truly exceptional. It’s one of the most amazing sets of songs I’ve ever heard, actually.  Enormous thanks to the people who pointed me toward it, if they ever end up reading this…you know ...

The Attachment Link, Part 3

Hopefully this will be the final post in this series, because WOW LONG AND OVERWHELMING THREADS OF CEREBRAL INFORMATION.  STOP IT, JADE.  STICK TO BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS AND HOW WONDERFUL WE ARE.  Okay, okay. I’ll try.  🙂 Before I get into the last part of the interplay of trauma, dissociation, and disorganized attachment, I want ...

The Attachment Link, Part 2

This blog post is a continuation of the previous discussion on attachment theory and its influence on the development of dissociative responses, as it relates to both early interactions with the parents AND experiences in the life of the person in question.  I’m just going to pick up where I left off, and if you’re confused, you ...

The Attachment Link, Part 1

I’m about to throw a LOT of information at you.  I’m actually going to break it up into multiple posts, to make it easier.  We’ll see if it takes 2 or 3. Try to bear with me, because I really think this stuff is vitally important. And if you disagree, I am certainly open to ...

Things That Will Keep You From Healing

Based on the chart I posted in my last blog post, I started thinking about some of these things, and figured I’d share it. This is a tricky post to get right, because the tone makes all the difference.  I want you to understand that I am only writing these things to HELP…not hurt, or ...

Deep Inner Decisions that Allow Survivors to Heal

This is a chart by Ellen Lacter that I found on this website, which all survivors should read WITH CAUTION. POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING MATERIAL.  I thought this chart was so helpful that I printed it and taped it to my bathroom mirror.  As I run through the checklist here, I can easily identify some areas where ...

About Integration

I have written about integration a little bit on my website, but I thought I would re-visit it here, just for kicks. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, in their article about D.I.D., says: “The main goal for treatment is the integration of the separate personality states into one cohesive, unified personality…”  In ...

J8’s Take on “The Myth of Sanity”

The Myth of Sanity (by Martha Stout) – my own review I want to make it clear before I start writing that disagreement can be respectful, and that’s always how I intend to be. Nothing I’m about to say is meant to disrespect anyone else in any way. I have a different opinion (what else is ...

Guest Post – Chloe

This probably needs a TRIGGER WARNING, even though we always try to keep things unspecific.  (S)RA/MC is mentioned in this post, as is Freemas*nry, pr*gramming, s*icide, and s*lf-m*tilation, etc.  If these words are problematic for you, be cautious or feel free to navigate away from this post.  If you are okay with reading/seeing those words, ...

Working With Multiple Systems

These are just some thoughts off the top of my head, as to how to work with a multiple and their system.  I’m writing this for therapists, counselors, and/or anyone else (even friends) who attempts to relate to or work with a multiple and their system.  As always, this is not meant to be exhaustive, and ...

Double Binds

**TW**  Some mild discussion of ritual abuse is included in this post.  I have made it generic.  But read with caution, if you are a survivor and/or are not in a good place emotionally.                               Double binds are something that everyone ...

Trauma-Based Mind Control **TW**

TRIGGER WARNING:  I have specifically made this blog a place where very few graphic details have or will ever be discussed, and this post is no exception. HOWEVER. Some people find that even certain words can be problematic.  This is a post where that may be the case.  I have not included ANY graphic details ...

Why I Write

I’m working on a post for later today, but I wanted to take a minute and ask a favor from all who have read my blog.  If you have found it useful, enjoyable, relevant to you or someone you know, or informative (or all 4! woohoo!), can you please take a minute and “Like” the ...