You Are Not One of Them

You Are Not One of Them
  ***TW**** briefly mentions s*icide, ab*se   I wanted to write something helpful this week, but I’m actually the one who needs help, and I didn’t see it coming. And isn’t that always the damn truth.  Just when things seem like they’re really getting better, the other shoe drops. And somewhere on the inside, someone ...

Family Loyalty – Or, Why Some People Never Tell

Due to some recent events, I’ve been thinking a lot about family dynamics lately.  There’s no way I could cover every possible aspect of an unhealthy family, but these are a couple specific issues I’ve been thinking about recently from my own experiences.  One of the hardest questions I’ve struggled with when it comes to family ...

Baby Alters

I’ve been thinking about baby alters lately, and very young child parts, of which I have not just a few. They get neglected a lot. Partially because unless they’re doing/feeling/radiating something painful that I inadvertently tap into, I just don’t always notice them. So when I remember that they’re there, I’m at a loss as to ...

Dear System Guardians…

You guys, I wrote Dear Little Ones because I really wanted to convey my heart for little ones in a way that could help them understand things that were happening, and hopefully bring some clarity and peace to some of the more wounded and confused insiders in people’s systems. But little ones aren’t the only ones on ...

On Revealing Multiplicity

******This post mildly mentions ch*rch and d*mon possession.******           One of the hardest things about being a multiple is the lack of understanding by the general public of what it is, what it’s like, and appropriate ways to respond to the knowledge of someone being a multiple.  Most – if not ...

How to be Friends with an S/RA Survivor: a Quick Start Guide

**TW** Mentions of ab*se, m*mories, fl*shbacks, etc… Hey everybody. I’m back with some continued thoughts on doing life and friendships/relationships with people who have experienced S/RA (Satanic/Ritual Abuse).  This is not meant to be all-inclusive, but just a starting point. I can’t possibly write every single thing that will be helpful for every single person ...

Excerpts from Trapped in the Mirror

I’m hoping to have some time to work on another post about the narcissistic parenting style tonight. In the meantime, Trapped in the Mirror, by Elan Golomb, was something I read years ago. I don’t remember too many specifics, but it cast a very revealing light on a lot of my struggles. I have combined some ...

The Weight of Grief

I’ve been MIA for 2+weeks, and I’m sorry about that.  This post may be all over the map, and mostly I’m just going to tell you what’s up. It won’t be informational. It won’t be helpful. I can’t guarantee it will even be coherent, I’m just checking in so you know what happened to me. ...

Object Constancy, Adult Version

Object constancy in adults is not something that I can find a whole lot of info about, other than a few books that I don’t have time to read at the moment, which I’m not going to link to at this time.  So I’m just going to write about my experience in hopes that it ...

The Trouble with Triggers

I realize that talking about triggers might be…um…triggering, but in that vein, I made up something pretty ridiculous in order to tone it down.  And once again, I am trying to work some things out, mentally, so I’m mostly writing to see if I can come to a better conclusion than I had come to ...

Late Night Thoughts – Therapy

Therapy, or “healing,” as we cryptically call it, is a strange thing. You mutually agree, at least for awhile, to have another person be your projection screen, your scratch pad, your mirror, your sounding board, your safe place, your containment, your own personal headspace specialist, your unbiased/ unfiltered (or at least differently filtered) perspective, your ...

Book Review in progress: Healing Developmental Trauma

Hey everybody. This is a pretty cerebral post (which ironically is a confirmation of my survival style, if you keep reading…haha), so I think we’re safe as far as TW’s go… So I started reading a new book last week called Healing Developmental Trauma, by Laurence Heller.  I’m only about halfway through it (or less), ...

My Current Attachment Mess

This post is probably going to be a mess because basically I’m trying to work some things out mentally, and if you haven’t noticed by now, I process by writing. Stay or go, whichever.  I’ve worked to make this post more generic, because although I don’t know most of my readers personally, I do have ...

On holidays and chaotic working models

Since the holidays are here, I’ve had a couple good conversations with people about what they do – or don’t – like about them.  Interestingly and unsurprisingly, their current feelings have everything to do with how things were during the holidays in their childhood.  If they had happy experiences back then, with traditions they enjoyed, ...

Things I Don’t Say

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time.  I’m in the peak of the busy season at my job, and that – plus my own personal cyclical chaos – has made it impossible to find the time or the wherewithal.  Now that my own seasonal issues are receding a bit, I have ...

Crazy Fall

(some rambling) Well, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later:  the random post that consists entirely of rabbit trails. You guys have bore (born? beared? …attention, grammar Nazis…plz respond) with me through my other posts that have been at least pseudo-coherent (I hope?), so now I present to you:  this one. I ...

Normal Life, Workday Mode

I don’t generally write anything all that personal on this blog, and TBH I have no idea why I wrote this. But it’s a departure from the norm, and at least half of my life decisions are categorized under “What the hell,” rather than a carefully thought-out plan. So…here it is. I think I hope ...

The Attachment Link, Part 3

Hopefully this will be the final post in this series, because WOW LONG AND OVERWHELMING THREADS OF CEREBRAL INFORMATION.  STOP IT, JADE.  STICK TO BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS AND HOW WONDERFUL WE ARE.  Okay, okay. I’ll try.  🙂 Before I get into the last part of the interplay of trauma, dissociation, and disorganized attachment, I want ...