The Weight of Grief

I’ve been MIA for 2+weeks, and I’m sorry about that.  This post may be all over the map, and mostly I’m just going to tell you what’s up. It won’t be informational. It won’t be helpful. I can’t guarantee it will even be coherent, I’m just checking in so you know what happened to me. ...

The Price

Today, everything just feels like too much.  I was blindsided by this feeling.  Didn’t really see it coming.  Halloween is over.  Now that I’m out from under my family of origin, the holidays suck much less than they could. I’ve even had some fun times this year already. There is nothing unusually stressful about this ...

Physiological Challenges

So as I wrote about recently, I’ve been making some profound discoveries through Laurence Heller’s book Healing Developmental Trauma. This has brought up several of what would seem to be “side” issues, which nevertheless seem pretty big, so that’s where I’ve been camping out, trying to unpack everything I need to absorb in these places ...

Book Review in progress: Healing Developmental Trauma

Hey everybody. This is a pretty cerebral post (which ironically is a confirmation of my survival style, if you keep reading…haha), so I think we’re safe as far as TW’s go… So I started reading a new book last week called Healing Developmental Trauma, by Laurence Heller.  I’m only about halfway through it (or less), ...

Things I Don’t Say

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time.  I’m in the peak of the busy season at my job, and that – plus my own personal cyclical chaos – has made it impossible to find the time or the wherewithal.  Now that my own seasonal issues are receding a bit, I have ...

The Disney Follow-Up Post

****TW**** This has pretty much the same trigger warning as the last blog post about D*sney, MC/pr*gramming, S*tanism, etc.  Subliminal messaging, television/movies/media is discussed.                   Well, I already knew that there are tons of smarter people out there who should be writing blogs rather than (or at ...

Crazy Fall

(some rambling) Well, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later:  the random post that consists entirely of rabbit trails. You guys have bore (born? beared? …attention, grammar Nazis…plz respond) with me through my other posts that have been at least pseudo-coherent (I hope?), so now I present to you:  this one. I ...

Internal Landscapes

Recently the subject of internal landscapes came up, so I thought I would write a little about it for the benefit of those who do not have D.I.D…or even those who do, if they want to join the discussion.  😉 So, what a lot of people who do not have D.I.D. don’t always understand is ...

Album Review – The Undoing (Steffany Gretzinger)

I don’t usually review albums on this blog, and I probably never will again. I’m making an exception, because this album is truly exceptional. It’s one of the most amazing sets of songs I’ve ever heard, actually.  Enormous thanks to the people who pointed me toward it, if they ever end up reading this…you know ...

Normal Life, Workday Mode

I don’t generally write anything all that personal on this blog, and TBH I have no idea why I wrote this. But it’s a departure from the norm, and at least half of my life decisions are categorized under “What the hell,” rather than a carefully thought-out plan. So…here it is. I think I hope ...

The Attachment Link, Part 3

Hopefully this will be the final post in this series, because WOW LONG AND OVERWHELMING THREADS OF CEREBRAL INFORMATION.  STOP IT, JADE.  STICK TO BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS AND HOW WONDERFUL WE ARE.  Okay, okay. I’ll try.  🙂 Before I get into the last part of the interplay of trauma, dissociation, and disorganized attachment, I want ...

The Attachment Link, Part 2

This blog post is a continuation of the previous discussion on attachment theory and its influence on the development of dissociative responses, as it relates to both early interactions with the parents AND experiences in the life of the person in question.  I’m just going to pick up where I left off, and if you’re confused, you ...

The Attachment Link, Part 1

I’m about to throw a LOT of information at you.  I’m actually going to break it up into multiple posts, to make it easier.  We’ll see if it takes 2 or 3. Try to bear with me, because I really think this stuff is vitally important. And if you disagree, I am certainly open to ...

Things That Will Keep You From Healing

Based on the chart I posted in my last blog post, I started thinking about some of these things, and figured I’d share it. This is a tricky post to get right, because the tone makes all the difference.  I want you to understand that I am only writing these things to HELP…not hurt, or ...

Deep Inner Decisions that Allow Survivors to Heal

This is a chart by Ellen Lacter that I found on this website, which all survivors should read WITH CAUTION. POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING MATERIAL.  I thought this chart was so helpful that I printed it and taped it to my bathroom mirror.  As I run through the checklist here, I can easily identify some areas where ...

About Integration

I have written about integration a little bit on my website, but I thought I would re-visit it here, just for kicks. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, in their article about D.I.D., says: “The main goal for treatment is the integration of the separate personality states into one cohesive, unified personality…”  In ...

J8’s Take on “The Myth of Sanity”

The Myth of Sanity (by Martha Stout) – my own review I want to make it clear before I start writing that disagreement can be respectful, and that’s always how I intend to be. Nothing I’m about to say is meant to disrespect anyone else in any way. I have a different opinion (what else is ...

Guest Post – Chloe

This probably needs a TRIGGER WARNING, even though we always try to keep things unspecific.  (S)RA/MC is mentioned in this post, as is Freemas*nry, pr*gramming, s*icide, and s*lf-m*tilation, etc.  If these words are problematic for you, be cautious or feel free to navigate away from this post.  If you are okay with reading/seeing those words, ...

Working With Multiple Systems

These are just some thoughts off the top of my head, as to how to work with a multiple and their system.  I’m writing this for therapists, counselors, and/or anyone else (even friends) who attempts to relate to or work with a multiple and their system.  As always, this is not meant to be exhaustive, and ...

Trauma-Based Mind Control **TW**

TRIGGER WARNING:  I have specifically made this blog a place where very few graphic details have or will ever be discussed, and this post is no exception. HOWEVER. Some people find that even certain words can be problematic.  This is a post where that may be the case.  I have not included ANY graphic details ...