The Price

Today, everything just feels like too much.  I was blindsided by this feeling.  Didn’t really see it coming.  Halloween is over.  Now that I’m out from under my family of origin, the holidays suck much less than they could. I’ve even had some fun times this year already. There is nothing unusually stressful about this ...

Physiological Challenges

So as I wrote about recently, I’ve been making some profound discoveries through Laurence Heller’s book Healing Developmental Trauma. This has brought up several of what would seem to be “side” issues, which nevertheless seem pretty big, so that’s where I’ve been camping out, trying to unpack everything I need to absorb in these places ...

Book Review in progress: Healing Developmental Trauma

Hey everybody. This is a pretty cerebral post (which ironically is a confirmation of my survival style, if you keep reading…haha), so I think we’re safe as far as TW’s go… So I started reading a new book last week called Healing Developmental Trauma, by Laurence Heller.  I’m only about halfway through it (or less), ...

My Current Attachment Mess

This post is probably going to be a mess because basically I’m trying to work some things out mentally, and if you haven’t noticed by now, I process by writing. Stay or go, whichever.  I’ve worked to make this post more generic, because although I don’t know most of my readers personally, I do have ...

On holidays and chaotic working models

Since the holidays are here, I’ve had a couple good conversations with people about what they do – or don’t – like about them.  Interestingly and unsurprisingly, their current feelings have everything to do with how things were during the holidays in their childhood.  If they had happy experiences back then, with traditions they enjoyed, ...

Multiplicity and Medical Care

****TW**** This post contains some mild discussion of d*ctors, medical issues/procedures, ritual ab*se, psychosomatic symptoms, etc. And also one mention of a very minor injury (minor, but bl**d is involved in the story)…                                 This is my first time publishing ...

The Void: dissociation, amnesia, and identity

Instead of quoting the entire post, I’m re-blogging because it’s just such a well-written, clear description of some of the lesser known struggles of multiples. Even those who are not multiples sometimes struggle with a cohesive sense of self and their own story. I could relate to almost everything written here, but I’ve never been ...

Multiplicity and Love

I thought this was pretty awesome, and not just applicable to romance but really any relationship with someone that’s deep enough that you’re going to let them know you’re a multiple. Sarah is pretty amazing about breaking these things down. I strongly encourage you to follow her blog!

Things I Don’t Say

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in such a long time.  I’m in the peak of the busy season at my job, and that – plus my own personal cyclical chaos – has made it impossible to find the time or the wherewithal.  Now that my own seasonal issues are receding a bit, I have ...

Link

No words today. Maybe this will help / inform. ~J8 TW – Halloween…could not reblog from phone so here is a link. http://discussingdissociation.com/2014/10/30/the-layers-of-halloween-weekend-2/

Baby Memories

I wrote this in shorthand (which I expanded for the post) last night while I was laying in bed trying not to lose my mind.  I think some of the turbulence this year is from having gone deeper into my system than ever, and being in contact with some of the youngest and perhaps most ...

in the dark

I really wanted to write something useful today, but I can’t.  It’s just at a point where I’m simply trying to stay out of the hospital.  The season hit me fast and hard and early and unexpectedly this year, and I can’t fully say why, and I can’t really explain anything because I don’t understand ...

The Disney Follow-Up Post

****TW**** This has pretty much the same trigger warning as the last blog post about D*sney, MC/pr*gramming, S*tanism, etc.  Subliminal messaging, television/movies/media is discussed.                   Well, I already knew that there are tons of smarter people out there who should be writing blogs rather than (or at ...

About Eating Disorders

This is an excellent post about some of the complexities of eating disorders. I, along with quite a few other people I know, have struggled with an eating disorder (and continue to), although the seriousness of it has been denied and dismissed to the point where I just don’t pay attention to it anymore. It’s ...

Subliminal Messaging, Disney, and MC/Programming

***TW***  This post has the potential to be triggering.  If you have been subjected to MC/Pr*gramming, RA/SRA, and/or find topics like D*sney, subliminal messaging via the media, s*x add*ction, etc, triggering, please exit the post or read with caution…                   Can a “normal” person become “programmed” by ...

Crazy Fall

(some rambling) Well, I knew it was going to happen sooner or later:  the random post that consists entirely of rabbit trails. You guys have bore (born? beared? …attention, grammar Nazis…plz respond) with me through my other posts that have been at least pseudo-coherent (I hope?), so now I present to you:  this one. I ...